Artlessly (edit 1.)

[homer1950]

You

against silky, sun-slashed hair
"Do you know?" was murmured. voice skin-deep, 
diaphanous; get a grip and stay
still. his bones scratch like lottery tickets, 
burn exactly the same

"南京is a city where people go to laugh." 
no, 
she hadn't known. he laughed like someone
who couldn't stand the world- not all the way-
not the parts that needed to be- so he hoarded
the bits of himself
that really mattered

his language came to life even as his lips
wilted against the side of her head. 
"纽约市, love," 
his words inflamed by strong sunlight,
"people go to die there. Whether they know it
or not." they both looked out to the world, 
knowing different things

he talked his home to death. cut through its smoke 
and its gruel with disposable razors, grief seen but not heard,
flowers thrown curbside, flushed dark with damp. 
somehow, he never drank. a habit that skipped
generations, it was concluded. the stars fell upon her 

they were both dark-haired, dark-eyed, the careless sort of dark, brusque,
obsessive, the lines around their characters inked with clarity, 
precision, stunning; they were both best when apart, focused upon 
their art, the brush themselves, the picture their personalities

I find many contradictions in this, 
Wilting lips but inflamed words coming out of them.
Laughing and an attitude of dislike
Careless, obsessive then clarity 
Dark damp with a lot of sun references 
and more of the same throughout.

The whole thing seems overly self indulgent, a writer trying to hard to impress. 
Question is impress who or whom?