06-25-2018, 05:23 AM
I'm assuming that "Andalusia" refers to the town in southern Spain and not the one in Alabama?
Not sure how "the moon shines in the bull’s sweaty back"? "on" or "off of"... The moon shines in the window, which is basically shorthand "shines through". That doesn't seem to apply here.
Really though, just because it is poetry doesn't mean one should string together dependant clauses. Such technique tends to confuse more than enlighten. Deviating from the rules of standard prose needs a very good reason, otherwise it is obfuscating.
On the hot nights in Andalusia
the moon shines on the bull’s sweaty back,
"ay ay ay the colors".
So forth and so on.
No caps and no periods do not make a piece "more poetic.
Best,
dale
Not sure how "the moon shines in the bull’s sweaty back"? "on" or "off of"... The moon shines in the window, which is basically shorthand "shines through". That doesn't seem to apply here.
Really though, just because it is poetry doesn't mean one should string together dependant clauses. Such technique tends to confuse more than enlighten. Deviating from the rules of standard prose needs a very good reason, otherwise it is obfuscating.
On the hot nights in Andalusia
the moon shines on the bull’s sweaty back,
"ay ay ay the colors".
So forth and so on.
No caps and no periods do not make a piece "more poetic.
Best,
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.