Immigration

[Lizzie]

Hello, Mark. A couple of thoughts. I like how the title appropriately frames it for the reader, as to how it should be interpreted and the "takeaway" at the end metabolized. It's a relevant topic to today's moral dilemmas, and that makes me want to read.

More detail to follow:

Immigration  

Dawn reveals faint shapes
at the fringes
of the eastern horizon.
Perplexed fishermen gesture
from wind-worn dunes
toward the wooden crosses -- like the possible Biblical reference here with crosses and rope -- bit of foreboding about the sorry fate of the natives.
laced with rope, raised  
upon strange boats
that hover off the coast. -- I think you've set the scene well, I can picture it. I think you're missing opportunities to choose descriptors that tie in with the divinity theme, the idea of God arriving. I'd consider going through your word choices and see if you can't do more of what you did above with the crosses and rope -- the description should provide nuance and layers of meaning. As is, it's pretty straightforward; that makes it a one-time read.

A new God has come
to claim discovery
of a New World…

It's an important topic, though it's been done. What elevates this above others? What's the insight, the angle no one else is talking about?

In the end, I agree with the previous critics that it needs more meat on the bones. It's a worthy start, and I look forward to seeing where you go with it.

Best,

Lizzie