Edit 1: Time Gap

[Richard]

Hey Alex,
I like the idea of the image of the message in a bottle. However, I feel a bit underwhelmed in spots. I'll go into more detail below:

Time Gap -I don't quite get the title here. Maybe I'm missing something. I don't see the time gap in this poem, so I feel like you could expand on this idea if you want to keep this as your title.
 
I send bottled words for waves -Personally, I like this line and think this should be your title. It outlines what the poem is about better than the current title.
of light to bring to you, without shattering the prism -I like the image of the prism via the bottle. I just wonder if you could expand upon it?
 
I have placed between us. The courier is fractured  -The enjambment between the stanzas here is appropriate because it gives emphasis the separation between the two people in the poem. I also like the bottle being referred to as a courier. I feel like this is a metaphor that you could play around with more.
into rainbows that we laugh beneath  -I have no idea why they are laughing here. I've read this poem many times over, and I just don't get it. Maybe I'm missing something, but I feel like this is something that needs to be expanded upon.
 
until you're close enough to break the glass. Then,  -Why would this person break the glass bottle? That means this is a one way message... Again, that idea needs to be fleshed out more. 
you'll see fresh-picked hyacinths as only blue. -I feel like this is some sort of the reference back to water (blue), but I just don't get what this line is saying. However, it does sound nice.


Two minor changes made; switched "wedged" to "placed" and added comma in S1L2. Thank you for your time and read.

I do like what you're trying to do here. I just think you need to expand on some of the imagery in this piece. Maybe I could be missing something here, and it wouldn't be the first time. I hope I wasn't too harsh here, and that some of what I said was helpful.

Cheers,
Richard