Goodnight in the City

[RC James]

Suzruth - This puts me in mind of an up-dated scene out of Dickens - sad, but buoyed by some hope.

The pounding of my heart 
and frontal lobe
like my boots on hard black tar,
reaches a rhythm far into the long
cold night, then stalks my shadow by day  ------------a more direct approach to this opening might help
                                                                            My heart and frontal lob pound
                                                                            like boots on hard black tar,
                                                                            reaching a rhythm far into
                                                                            the long cold night,
                                                                            then stalk my shadow by day.

(when) I scrape meat from my ribs --------------  why the "when?" If it's connected to the 1st stanza, it should be a part of it not separated.
to feed my children.

My guilt is a quilted blanket  -----------"quilted" suggests a sense of comfort rather than hardship
placed upon me by white
supremacists' rage.
Yet knowing this I swaddle tighter
like a house.

Today you brought me a lentil stew
and I stirred in my tears.
Tonight we'll start the new green candle.
It'll smell
like apples
and we can read the library book
by the flickering light.  ---------------the close is very effective  -  RC