04-25-2018, 04:25 AM
Who says that leaves are green
Or sky is blue?
Who says that days are always light
Or night is immanently dark? <==== spelling error. Should read "imminently".
Who says what anything is really like?
Who says I have to be like you?
Who says you have to be like me?
For your green may be my blue
My light may not be light for you <===== I don't know if you were going for a rhyming couplet or not but if you were, I would tighten the meter a bit. For example changing the second line to "My light may be dark for you." If you weren't shooting for a rhyme, you may want to change one of these. For example using indigo instead of blue (and yes, I know indigo is not a shade of blue but I think it would still fit the colors metaphor you are using here).
… and my colors change as seasons go. <=== I can't help but feel this ends a little abruptly. Maybe something like "as seasons pass away" or "as seasons fade away" would be more appropriate?
Or sky is blue?
Who says that days are always light
Or night is immanently dark? <==== spelling error. Should read "imminently".
Who says what anything is really like?
Who says I have to be like you?
Who says you have to be like me?
For your green may be my blue
My light may not be light for you <===== I don't know if you were going for a rhyming couplet or not but if you were, I would tighten the meter a bit. For example changing the second line to "My light may be dark for you." If you weren't shooting for a rhyme, you may want to change one of these. For example using indigo instead of blue (and yes, I know indigo is not a shade of blue but I think it would still fit the colors metaphor you are using here).
… and my colors change as seasons go. <=== I can't help but feel this ends a little abruptly. Maybe something like "as seasons pass away" or "as seasons fade away" would be more appropriate?