04-20-2018, 03:27 AM
Good stuff man, you have a good mind for this.
Interesting points, the use of 'for miles', also the inconsistency of how full the beach is vs the white stretches. Never saw that.
Negative arguing! Taking offense and getting irate or becoming insensitive. You know. And a good argument can sometimes be misinterpreted on the interwebs. I don't want to come across that way by accident.
See, when I write, I usually don't know where I'm going. I just follow my imagination. That's probably why it's a little spontaneous, the focus coming in late, etc. Probably not good for the final piece, so your perspective is helpful, not just for this work but for my work in general. It's good to be aware of writing habits.
Still, the piece does start with "we" and follows them throughout. S2 throws it off, I can see, even if it was just supposed to be something they were noticing. But I agree with the potential for two pieces, and I'll be giving that some thought. I imagine I might like to break some rules if it's my personal style, but not sure if putting the focus towards the end is really what I want. You notice I did that with the restaurant scene too.
Thank you much for your time and thought.
Interesting points, the use of 'for miles', also the inconsistency of how full the beach is vs the white stretches. Never saw that.
Negative arguing! Taking offense and getting irate or becoming insensitive. You know. And a good argument can sometimes be misinterpreted on the interwebs. I don't want to come across that way by accident.
See, when I write, I usually don't know where I'm going. I just follow my imagination. That's probably why it's a little spontaneous, the focus coming in late, etc. Probably not good for the final piece, so your perspective is helpful, not just for this work but for my work in general. It's good to be aware of writing habits.
Still, the piece does start with "we" and follows them throughout. S2 throws it off, I can see, even if it was just supposed to be something they were noticing. But I agree with the potential for two pieces, and I'll be giving that some thought. I imagine I might like to break some rules if it's my personal style, but not sure if putting the focus towards the end is really what I want. You notice I did that with the restaurant scene too.
Thank you much for your time and thought.
"The best way out is always through."-Robert Frost
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