04-19-2018, 05:13 AM
Well, if it's mentioned, there is something important to N about it, even if not more than just noticing/liking the view.
I agree about "strewn."
It's established that it's a beach full of sun-bathers, "beach towels" after all, so why is white stretches hard to imagine? It's a good way of avoiding "sand", although I don't think I ended up using that word anywhere else like I thought I would. I don't require the reader to make any great leaps, but expecting some basic intuition or deduction isn't so bad is it? Is it really hard to guess stretches of sand?
Mind you I'm not being argumentative, not in a negative sense. I'm curious, that's all. I want to learn but at the same time I do have some opinions.
I agree about the 'togetherness'.
To answer the last question. What's wrong with an impression of the scene from a different angle? Everything slightly repetitive has to be cut? It doesn't have to be so lean, does it? I view it as just another image to compliment and build on the scene. Maybe more needs to be added in order for it to belong, but I can't justify cutting those lines of seeing the color and people "so widely spread" from that offshore perspective. Repetition, especially when worded uniquely, can't hurt, but only reinforce. What then is missing? Does one of them need to express their feelings about the view?
I'm in a bit of a rush at the moment, sorry. Interested in your thoughts.
I agree about "strewn."
It's established that it's a beach full of sun-bathers, "beach towels" after all, so why is white stretches hard to imagine? It's a good way of avoiding "sand", although I don't think I ended up using that word anywhere else like I thought I would. I don't require the reader to make any great leaps, but expecting some basic intuition or deduction isn't so bad is it? Is it really hard to guess stretches of sand?
Mind you I'm not being argumentative, not in a negative sense. I'm curious, that's all. I want to learn but at the same time I do have some opinions.
I agree about the 'togetherness'.
To answer the last question. What's wrong with an impression of the scene from a different angle? Everything slightly repetitive has to be cut? It doesn't have to be so lean, does it? I view it as just another image to compliment and build on the scene. Maybe more needs to be added in order for it to belong, but I can't justify cutting those lines of seeing the color and people "so widely spread" from that offshore perspective. Repetition, especially when worded uniquely, can't hurt, but only reinforce. What then is missing? Does one of them need to express their feelings about the view?
I'm in a bit of a rush at the moment, sorry. Interested in your thoughts.
"The best way out is always through."-Robert Frost
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