04-09-2018, 06:42 AM
Revision 1 -
More clarity to image, and removed some words.
Still have that odd shift in focus but I can't currently make a poem out of either half of the shift, so leaving it as is for now.
Could use other improvements as well, I'm sure. Still open to critique.
This is the kind of poem I write where I think "I really kind of like this," and at the same time feel "yeah but the whole thing kind of sucks."
More clarity to image, and removed some words.
Still have that odd shift in focus but I can't currently make a poem out of either half of the shift, so leaving it as is for now.
Could use other improvements as well, I'm sure. Still open to critique.
This is the kind of poem I write where I think "I really kind of like this," and at the same time feel "yeah but the whole thing kind of sucks."
"The best way out is always through."-Robert Frost
dwcapture.com
dwcapture.com