03-24-2018, 02:33 AM
Hi,
First, I would change sounds to sound in the first part, I like a lot of the imagery that you are using but a few lines feel kind of clunky such as "a dark shadow looms over the room"
First, I would change sounds to sound in the first part, I like a lot of the imagery that you are using but a few lines feel kind of clunky such as "a dark shadow looms over the room"