03-21-2018, 10:11 PM
Still not the best critic i only had problem with one line.
The ice machine's broken and the power cord's frayed,
so little of elegance or fancy displayed.
Your poem flowed so beautifully well i absolutely loved it and i loved the story too. These two lines didn't quite fit in as easily. Maybe switch up your words a bit here. Outside of that i really did love it. Thank you for sharing.
The ice machine's broken and the power cord's frayed,
so little of elegance or fancy displayed.
Your poem flowed so beautifully well i absolutely loved it and i loved the story too. These two lines didn't quite fit in as easily. Maybe switch up your words a bit here. Outside of that i really did love it. Thank you for sharing.