Love / Hate

[Todd]

I think the idea you have is a nice starting point for a poem. The issue you have is that the poem is almost entirely abstract. Concrete nouns that deal with tangible objects create imagery which gives your poems emotional resonance. Abstract nouns deal with qualities like truth or love and hate in this case or comfort or pleas. Their innate ambiguity robs them of this emotional power. There usually needs to be something added to ground the ideas and make them interesting. Or all you will be left with is an interesting concept that doesn't deliver. I'm not saying abstract constructions can't work in poetry they can. Look at what Jacques Prévert does in his poem This Love as an example of mixing abstract and concrete nouns to add imagery around the idea of love. I hope that's helpful. https://hellopoetry.com/poem/15468/this-love/

Best,

Todd