03-08-2018, 06:38 PM
Hey,
Like this a lot, lots of strong and interesting imagery used here to convey the N.'s experience to the reader. I like the long lines, but could breaking them up a little bit more help to convey the idea of snow showers mixed in with gusts of wind? Otherwise, I think Richard has really hit the nail on the head with his response to this, because of that I don't think I have an awful lot to add. I would like to suggest weaving for scurrying in the opening line though. Sorry I couldn't add much more to what Richard has already said
Johnny
Like this a lot, lots of strong and interesting imagery used here to convey the N.'s experience to the reader. I like the long lines, but could breaking them up a little bit more help to convey the idea of snow showers mixed in with gusts of wind? Otherwise, I think Richard has really hit the nail on the head with his response to this, because of that I don't think I have an awful lot to add. I would like to suggest weaving for scurrying in the opening line though. Sorry I couldn't add much more to what Richard has already said
Johnny