Confines of Mortality

[cloud]

too much intellectual forefront can have that monotonous tone effect, but that doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of depth in your style.
I would like to elaborate on @TemporaryForever 's revision, as I think in terms of poetry, less means more

I think generally you wanted to pack a lot of information into a small amount of lines
so in terms of density, let's see how concentrated we can retain your ideas with the least amount of words:

Sifting through the notions of our origin.
Burdened with the sentiment of isolation.
Diligent deliberation of eternity.
Under the influence of despair.
One may presume the soul to be
a collection of memories
set aimlessly adrift
through perpetual
darkness.

Searching our origin
burdened with isolation
eternity, sought deliberately
under the influence of despair
the soul to be
of memory's collection,
aimlessly adrift;
through perpetual
darkness

I don't want to give the impression that amputating your initial writings is always a good thing, because its most definitely not
but less does mean more, most of the time, and your freeflow is a good example of discovering just what that means!