03-08-2018, 03:40 PM
"Simple and straight !" yet beautiful it is . The constant conflict between the two -"I love you " and "I hate you " were a good plan to choose as they keep the reader indulged for what comes next.The way the poem had started is just right but as we proceed it must grow with deeper emotions. the closing lines are also good but i thing the 4 lines before it could be better than this for the poetry to end . And as you chose simplicity for this poem.... let me tell you that elaborating a bit is actually possible with that.....(at least for ourselves to be a little happier with what we did ). as you mentioned that you yourself werent sure about it .