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Rain(TI part 1)
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03-08-2018, 11:52 AM
Hi Andy, thanks for posting. I agree that some of the lines are too long/too many syllables ("and dreams that will never be"). Overall though I like your contrast of emotion/dreams with tangible, natural elements. Also, I liked the way you wrapped it up in the last stanza and last line, it brought the emotion back around nicely. Winterloc
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| Messages In This Thread |
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Rain(TI part 1) - by AndyBryant123 - 03-01-2018, 11:41 AM
RE: Rain(TI part 1) - by 20_Hamilton_18 - 03-01-2018, 06:25 PM
RE: Rain(TI part 1) - by AndyBryant123 - 03-02-2018, 02:57 AM
RE: Rain(TI part 1) - by ritwiksadhu33 - 03-03-2018, 11:24 PM
RE: Rain(TI part 1) - by Winterloc - 03-08-2018, 11:52 AM
RE: Rain(TI part 1) - by Fatman Butter - 03-16-2018, 10:08 PM
RE: Rain(TI part 1) - by TemporaryForever - 03-19-2018, 06:19 AM
RE: Rain(TI part 1) - by Tudor140707 - 03-19-2018, 09:51 PM
RE: Rain(TI part 1) - by HersheyKiss - 03-21-2018, 07:43 AM
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