Mental Block
#14
(12-11-2017, 03:49 PM)flagthrower Wrote:  It started with dread and finished with embarrassment.
There was nothing to blame except the scratchy 
sponge resting in my skull. 

Grace was given and exceptions made,
but there it was, the final hour,
and what had been achieved?

The church bells tolled,
one after the other.
The cigarette burned,
down to the stub.  
Time had 
run 
out.
I like how the you used the cigarette stub to represent the amount of time that you had left, and the use of church bells to represent your fate. I also love the way that you structured the poem! The lines get smaller to represent the amount of time that you have left. My only criticism would be your use of the word "embarrassment", it would have been really cool to implement a word that better suits the passage of time, to foreshadow your situation. Other than that... I love it!
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Messages In This Thread
Mental Block - by flagthrower - 12-11-2017, 03:49 PM
RE: Mental Block - by Keith - 12-11-2017, 10:10 PM
RE: Mental Block - by vagabond - 12-11-2017, 10:12 PM
RE: Mental Block - by flagthrower - 12-12-2017, 07:39 AM
RE: Mental Block - by flowerburgers - 12-15-2017, 03:55 AM
RE: Mental Block - by nibbed - 12-15-2017, 06:23 AM
RE: Mental Block - by Lavieboheme - 12-15-2017, 08:55 AM
RE: Mental Block - by Joseph918 - 12-21-2017, 05:49 PM
RE: Mental Block - by chopblock - 12-24-2017, 12:55 PM
RE: Mental Block - by AndyBryant123 - 03-01-2018, 09:42 AM
RE: Mental Block - by Eat.think.live.peaceful - 03-01-2018, 11:00 AM
RE: Mental Block - by Trophic_Cascade - 03-04-2018, 04:53 PM
RE: Mental Block - by Silfan - 03-04-2018, 07:49 PM
RE: Mental Block - by Lorvick - 03-08-2018, 10:45 AM
RE: Mental Block - by zwubz - 03-19-2018, 01:29 PM
RE: Mental Block - by SpaceDirt - 03-25-2018, 09:57 AM
RE: Mental Block - by kaos - 03-27-2018, 03:37 PM



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