Moose and Squirrel (Revision)

[Todd]

The first burden of childhood is time.

You learn this at school through the torture
of the clock’s unmoving hands
no matter how hard you stare.
The cruelty of eternity

is found in always waiting
beneath your desk, like my mother: frozen
by the siren, the duck and cover
from light that will blind, then burn, leaving

your shadow an immortal
chalk drawing
under a soot-filled rain.                         before the black rain i had an image of those shadows being burnt on a school board..  and although the rain is another nice detail, in this place it made me think that the shadows don´t care for fallout anymore.
For me, oblivion

was as far away as the dinosaurs.
We still counted missiles. Our guns were bigger
until they weren’t. We played G-Men
against Boris and Natasha at recess                         i´d switch "guns were bigger until they weren´t" to the end of the stanza    ("counted missiles and played G-men..."

then crowded eye-damagingly close
to a black and white television,
its ears stretching like the rabbit,
our magician could never seem to pull

from the hat between his antlers. He'd tear
away his sleeve, and with a magic pass                               commas confuse me, this would be how i want to read it: "... tear away his sleeve and, with a magic pass/ of the hand and a confident Presto, reveal..."
of the hand and a confident Presto reveal
not a bunny but a savage beast.

This is the second burden of childhood.

Yeah, Cristine, I think I have to give the chalk drawing part some more attention. It already had some areas that worked at odds that Keith pointed out originally--it still isn't there. I'll address the commas you mention and the guns area.

Thank you again,

Todd