What a friend we have in Facebook edit 0.000001 knot,nibbed.

[RiverNotch]

What a friend we have in Facebook
 
I don’t talk to Jesus no more, 
now Facebook hears me cry’in.
I got me a buddy who’s most-times there,
tells me I’m pretty and he don’t care
if I fool around or never share
‘cause he’s a friend of mine.
 
I don’t talk to Jesus no more, 
now Facebook’s on the line.
I woke up this mornin’ and logged right in,
asked me for a selfie, ain’t no sin,
so I stuck my phone where it shouldn’t have bin’
‘cause he’s a friend of mine.
 
I don’t talk to Jesus no more,
 ‘cause Facebook treats me fine. 
I’m gonna meet up with my friend tonight
at a place he knows, called  ”Candle-lite”.
I googled  it, and it don’t sound right,
but he’s a friend of mine.
 
tectak
2017
Not funny enough for the Funny forum.

kinda shallow, too. what does it really say about the world we now live in? s1's about fooling around, a thing that's definitely been since before facebook -- s2's about a lusty sort of vanity, which, as evidenced by the number of mirrors and raunchy letters that we have since mirrors and raunchy letters that could for so long exist have existed, isn't a special thing with regards social media -- and s3, well, s3 might have something, there's a sort of tension between facebook treating one fine and Jesus (implied as) not, as well as behind whatever "Candle-lite" is supposed to mean, but that's not much (and i think something's undermined by having the speaker use google). of course, i might not be reading into this deep enough, but the refrains and lack of any truly memorable ideas or imagery make this parse like a pop song, and not one with a strong enough sentiment to hook.

Howdy river, don't look now but your piousness is a' peepin out. No..it's none of the afforementioned...it is about the false friends on facebook ( See title...Do you have the hymn "What a friend we have in Jesus"?) and the easy, faceless guile that gets young gullibles in to difficult situations...so maybe you are right. You're not looking deeply enough.  Alternatively, it is a total failure and I have gone all obscure overnight...in which case, my bad.
Maybe I should have posted in Fun. What say you?
Best, 
 tectak

thing is there's false friends everywhere, and speaking as a young gullible, facebook doesn't make it any easier or harder to make them false friends -- either the context changed in the two years or so that i've refused to be active in facebook, or your angle isn't "facebook" enough.

as for the hymn, i guess i missed it --- but recalling the hymn now, and the most exciting part about it is the first line. since the piece doesn't seem to more meaningfully engage with the hymn, instead of focusing on "false friends", a thing not unique to facebook, maybe focus more on facebook's redefinition of what it means to be a friend at all --- which, at least in my experience, is less about friends who don't care about you, or friends whose life-details you don't exactly know, but about friends who don't engage with you, or friends whose life-details you yourself don't care about.

and come to think of it i think my reading of stanza 2 was a little unfair: at the very least, the digital era did add not-quite-exposing-oneself to the list of vices. but then i feel like that's more the domain of twitter or instagram rather than facebook...