draft 5. edge of earth

[alonso ramoran]

edge of earth

no other evening
than this fading
light without echo
as voice surrenders
to the surrendering
waves of voices
along the shore
alive breathing tears
chasing seagulls

draft 4. the cottage

dream of youth,
peeling sundown  
firmament, frees  
temperate wind 
into an afternoon
of child echoes  
chasing seagulls 


edit 2: found the cottage

dream peels sundown 
firmament, releasing 
temperate wind into the
child echoes' afternoon  
of chasing seagulls


edit 1: found the cottage 
 
peeled of sundown  
firmament, the dream  
releases gentle air into  
an afternoon of children 
chasing seagulls 


original: found the cottage 
 
evening firmament is peeled  
from the dream, releasing 
a balmy breeze of afternoon  
that children frolic in, 
chasing seagulls