Obligatory Leprechaun Patterned Novelty Pants

[Todd]

Hi Johnny,

Here are some comments for you:

Obligatory Leprechaun Patterned Novelty Pants

Took her to St George’s market,--This is not the sort of line you want to open a poem with. It is flat reportage. Consider this slight change instead (new words in brackets):

We'd grown tired of tracing streets
in the gloom of a frigid Friday morning
[at] St. George's market.
 
we’d grown tired of tracing streets
in the gloom of a frigid Friday morning.
If nothing else she’d never been,
and I wanted to go. Dander past--I've never heard dander used this way--but it sounds cools 
stalls selling tattered books,
cherished ornaments with no home,--while I like tattered books because it's visual, I don't like cherished ornaments. Cherished is abstract and it doesn't do anything for the noun. 
vegetables picked at dawn transported here for noon,--might not need "here" 
stalls flogging the latest catch, prime Irish Beef,
artisanal cheese and sculptures made in drawing rooms.
Stalls ran by ageing hipsters and Grammar school punks
talking Vinyl and bemoaning current musical trends.  
Not forgetting stalls stockpiled with the obligatory--your repeating stalls quite a bit. 
Leprechaun patterned novelty pants, I have three pairs now,
a sucker for “Irish tat” as she puts it. And the potato bread,
soda bread and bowls of steaming stew, just like Ma made it,--probably don't need "it "
of course not quite as good, but proficient enough to
quell that craving and set us up for the afternoon.

Just a first pass. I hope the comments help.

Best,

Todd