Enough Fake News

[tectak]

Today in New York City, a man of coloured origin,
unhindered by the law, sat down and painted.
Being by birth a palette in a grey town
he chose his brightest hues to demonstrate
his art. At first the blood-red paint  ran through the cracks
but some folk walked too close and carried foot prints
along the sidewalk, almost to the edge of town.
He called his work “It could have been me”.  -- I enjoy the contrast of "man of colour(ed)" against "grey town". At first I thought it was heavy-handed to include "blood-red", thinking that your audience would see the connection regardless, but then your audience proved me wrong.  I believe you could remove "being" in L3, unless you specifically want the "human being" connotation.  I am delighted by the use of the man-as-palette, and his brightest hues.  
 
Today in  Greenwich Village  a man, who was no man at all,
danced naked  in the rain, singing  about his loves.
He twirled on fairy-feet along the street, threw kisses
to a crowd of two that hurried past him running  for shelter;
they never once called out, to shame or criticise him.
Children  in a candy store, laughed loudly through glass panes;
they only saw a dancing man, splashing in the rain.
He called his dance “Because I Can”. -- the cliched images in this stanza work beautifully as satire.  I do think it a shame (and a source of some amusement) that many who read poetry these days tend to miss irony in their demand for veracity, as they assume everyone is as obtuse as they. You undermine this nicely.  Is "candy store" the correct vernacular for the location? L5 is the most powerful for me in this stanza and even without the title, this would have been the giveaway as to the subject of the poem. 
 
Today in Some Town, Somewhere, a quiet man
took out a gun and fired a bullet  into his own right eye.
Some folks who passed close by got brain and bone
upon their fancy clothes. They hollered out in shock and rage,
but let the half-head guy bleed out just where he fell.
Some blood ran through the cracks but  passers-by
left dancing steps upon the sidewalk , skirting round.
The man, though dead, said  “ Enough is Enough”. -- An excellent volte to snap back to almost-real.  I really want L3 to be a little less cumbersome -- "some passersby" perhaps?  I do enjoy the throwaway of "half-head guy", who has become commonplace enough to leave in the street with the rubbish.  Trash, I suppose that should be.  Pardon my lack of attention to local idiom.  Oh wait, it doesn't matter does it?  It's Some Town, Somewhere, and I'm sure this could happen in any nation, right?  Ah, but you have a sidewalk... Contrasting the outrage at being inconvenienced by the splatter with the outrage-that-should-be at the loss of any semblance of empathy for fellow humans is poignant.  
 
Tectak
2018

Dear Mr Tak, It is with some consternation that I read your poem and found it to be an accurate summation of a nation that cares far more about its marketing image than the internal workings of the poor and disposable.  One does wonder, given the long tradition of poetry as social commentary about more than merely the immediate area in which one dwells (I have studied such things extensively in academia -- why, I have even taught them!), why many people today would view such poetry ("unacknowledged legislators of the world", old chap) as flawed in subject because it does not emerge directly from the poet's bosom as a diary entry.  In a global economy, from which some nations benefit significantly more than others, and upon a planet which will conceivably become the base of intergalactic operation some time this century, it does rather concern me that pointing out the irony in international events (in a world where "nation" is less important than ever) is seen as offensive and transgressive to many.  As is, this is perhaps too topical and immediate to be published (I've published, after all -- why, I've even been a publisher!) but it did need to be written, and I'm glad to have read it.

Do try to limit commentary to the poetry...there's a good Sheila....Mod