02-20-2018, 05:15 PM
Thank you for your feedback! Yes, Tiger of the Lion, it may have been a little over-ambitious to post a first poem in this forum. However, I know the best way to progress is through honest critique. Clearly the idea I was aiming at hasn't come through so I will go back to the drawing board on how to convey that. Also, thanks Todd for pointing out the clichés - something I definitely don't want in my writing (!) - so I will look for more imaginative alternatives to convey these thoughts. I'm not yet familiar with the technicality of quatrain, meter etc. but this gives me something to look into so I can be more conscious in my writing.