Nature's Epilogue - tear it apart!

[Todd]

Hi Laurelizdok, welcome to the site! Here are some comments for you.

There are a lot of inconsistencies with meter and some basic typo and usage errors that pull me out of the piece.

I watch the sun in passing--no big issues, I just wish the opening did more to pull me in.
to it's hand the green does grow;--its (lose the apostrophe). I also am not a fan of inverted syntax. It feels forced and screams look at me I'm a poem.
through it's awesome powers--again its.
the gift of life does flow.--gift of life is a bit cliche. This opening reads as filler setup and doesn't advance the poem in an interesting way.

I watch in apprehension
this golden deity at work--If you reinsert meter into this verse this phrasing will be problematic.
when I see the gift of life withdrawn--here's gift of life again. It isn't good enough to be used once.
turning fertile oasis
into baron desert.--A few things in this stanza. You abandon the quatrain (not a good choice). Your meter and rhyme scheme go away--which doesn't work well. Barren is misspelled. 

And I can't help but wonder
if it is so written by design--so should be cut. It's a filler word that isn't helping you.
in nature's contract of power
a sub-clause of decline.--interesting line. I like how you play off the imagery of the previous line.

I see the sun bring Eden
I see the rain guard the fruit;--This line sounds poor. You're using filler words to match line length but it isn't working with the meter. read it out loud and you'll probably hear it.
I see two forces restraining
from what in-silo each can do.--I get what you're going for with in-silo, but it feels off. Silo language is used in business. It seems out of place with words like Eden and this appeal to creation and nature sort of vibe you start off with.

And if such be Her intention
A just balance in life's span
Is it to any wonder
what will result of man?

I see it all around me
In sad streams, and sinking ice slopes too...--It is jarring when you use meter and rhyme in the last verse and then abandon it with this oversized, clunky line. I also would cut the ellipses. 
the sins we have created,
the lamenting we must do.

But nature wrote long before us
a steady and condign plan--Like the use of condign
and in that,--another time you leave the quatrains. This is not strong enough in any event to hold its own line. 
perhaps she always knew:--If you are going to capitalize Her above then you should capitalize She here.
man will destroy man.--Not a bad ending line.

I realize that I took your tear it apart literally. I hope some of the comments will be helpful.

Best,

Todd