02-19-2018, 08:30 PM
Paper Dolls - Draft Two
Paper dolls
Cut to please
In perfect rows
Sharply creased
Bleached doll parts
Creep into slow decay- I find this line out of place with the general rhythm of the poem- and a little difficult to interpret, too. For me, it makes it difficult to follow what you are aiming to portray in this verse
Paper creasing into scars
Sheets of ivory fray
Like a scythe
The clocks hands reave
Paper doll heads tumble
The end offers reprieve
Infinity never stumbles - great imagery in this verse! I particularly like the first three lines and the portrayal of time and how it is fleeting in the presence of death
Paper dolls stare
Eyes that never blink
Paper dolls do not care - this contradicts with your first verse "cut to please". My initial interpretation of the poem was of social conformity (maybe this was not it's intention) but this line seems this idea (do we not conform based on an underlying desire to please others?). This may just be my interpretation but for me it seems inconsistent to the image that was being built
Paper dolls do not think - Love a poem with a good, strong final line. This is one of them.
Paper dolls
Cut to please
In perfect rows
Sharply creased
Bleached doll parts
Creep into slow decay- I find this line out of place with the general rhythm of the poem- and a little difficult to interpret, too. For me, it makes it difficult to follow what you are aiming to portray in this verse
Paper creasing into scars
Sheets of ivory fray
Like a scythe
The clocks hands reave
Paper doll heads tumble
The end offers reprieve
Infinity never stumbles - great imagery in this verse! I particularly like the first three lines and the portrayal of time and how it is fleeting in the presence of death
Paper dolls stare
Eyes that never blink
Paper dolls do not care - this contradicts with your first verse "cut to please". My initial interpretation of the poem was of social conformity (maybe this was not it's intention) but this line seems this idea (do we not conform based on an underlying desire to please others?). This may just be my interpretation but for me it seems inconsistent to the image that was being built
Paper dolls do not think - Love a poem with a good, strong final line. This is one of them.