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[poetkitten]

Hi, everyone! This is my first post here so we'll see how it goes. I tend to be my own toughest critic. I've been writing poetry off and on for about 20 years now and I'm hoping to publish my first full volume this year.

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I sat down at my desk tonight, *
and found I had no words to write. 
No message that I could convey,
nor a funny or witty thing to say.
No nostalgic tale of days gone by,
or wondrous adventure on mountains high.

-No princesses, kings or warrior knights,
No ice, no fire, no epic fights.
No clever yarn about my youth,
or a tactful dose of truth.
No sagas of love or burning rage,
not a single thing to grace the page.-
In fact, it came as quite a shock
as I'm just not one for writers block!
It's disappointing because everybody knows,
I'm quite the man when it comes to prose.
But on this night, at this desk, **
I'm so far from my very best.

I ache and I scream and I fight and fight,
but I just can't find the words to write.
I have the pen, I have the ink,
"Come on now, man! You've got think!"
There's an easy way to break the curse,
just find a line, a rhyme, a verse.
Nothing creative bursts from my head,
It's just awash with fog instead.
My head is nodding, my vision fading,
what little hope I had? Degrading.
And this barrenness my soul will reap,
as I lay me down to sleep.
I can only hope, as I retire,
that I do not think of things too dire.

Perhaps when I wake, in mornings light,
I'll finally find those words to write.

Hi! I am new to critic, to be honest I don't really know what I'm doing but I'll try

I just found it a bit distracting how you changed tenses. It could just be a style I'm not used to, but non the less I found it kinda confusing. At the first * you said 'I sat' but at the ** you said 'on this night'. I assume you are talking about the same night? Just because it says 'I sat down at my desk tonight' and that seems to set the tense for the whole poem. If it was 'I sat down at my desk last night' then changed to talk about this night I would understand. It is fine how you have done it, it just seems slightly off.

I found that you used rhyme in a professional way to make the poem flow. Also nice imagery used, especially imbetween the - - however there were some other lines which really showed this picture. 


I hope this helped