02-13-2018, 01:40 AM
Hey tectak
Skins on drums were wet with sweat
the day the band danced through the town. -I'd take out this last the
Sun held high in burned out sky; - a hyphen between burned out is more aesthetic
bald eagles soared above the crowd.
The sidewalk, wider than before,
bulged and strained along the route; -visual
mostly where the piper’s pranced
and black on blond came marching by.
With hair in bobbing, tressled tails
and legs that wet the old men’s eyes, -wet doesn't seem to fit, they cried?
stars flicked and kicked, [great visual
stripes swirled and curled, lines of splendid celebration]
round silken flashes, youthful thighs. -round silken?
America, America…hear your heart on days like these, -crowded lines here, on purpose?
when pipes and drums and bugles play.
A poignant pageant passed today -poignant doesn't sound correct
with fresh, young hope surplanting sleaze.
Remember, we are watching.
(Undisclosed youtube location)
Tectak
2017 AT
it reminded me of the news story
about the high school cheerleaders
who dressed all too provocatively,
I think in Florida, not sure...
and all the uproar involved in all that.
It also brought back the times
of our annual Fourth of July parade,
except the excitement was limited
to the real Colonel Sanders as Grand Marshal
and the fun of red-white-and-blue
bicycle decorations. The last line seemed
to indicate a need for a stern reminder
or perhaps to even show sarcasm.
-nibbed
Skins on drums were wet with sweat
the day the band danced through the town. -I'd take out this last the
Sun held high in burned out sky; - a hyphen between burned out is more aesthetic
bald eagles soared above the crowd.
The sidewalk, wider than before,
bulged and strained along the route; -visual
mostly where the piper’s pranced
and black on blond came marching by.
With hair in bobbing, tressled tails
and legs that wet the old men’s eyes, -wet doesn't seem to fit, they cried?
stars flicked and kicked, [great visual
stripes swirled and curled, lines of splendid celebration]
round silken flashes, youthful thighs. -round silken?
America, America…hear your heart on days like these, -crowded lines here, on purpose?
when pipes and drums and bugles play.
A poignant pageant passed today -poignant doesn't sound correct
with fresh, young hope surplanting sleaze.
Remember, we are watching.
(Undisclosed youtube location)
Tectak
2017 AT
it reminded me of the news story
about the high school cheerleaders
who dressed all too provocatively,
I think in Florida, not sure...
and all the uproar involved in all that.
It also brought back the times
of our annual Fourth of July parade,
except the excitement was limited
to the real Colonel Sanders as Grand Marshal
and the fun of red-white-and-blue
bicycle decorations. The last line seemed
to indicate a need for a stern reminder
or perhaps to even show sarcasm.
-nibbed
there's always a better reason to love