02-09-2018, 12:40 AM
Yippeeee....got it....the your-your is no more.
Yes, I like the change. Sonics much improved.
But now, my-my! (L8,L9)
Would you consider something like
fingers creep to seek out a body's heat?
or even
fingers creeping, seek out a body's heat?
Just a thought.
poisonous words - yes, that I got, what confused me
was the ambiguity of 'hung around' (suspension versus waiting)
As to sheets, I think your 'that' is also ambiguous;
as in, 'which also', or
(not sure of the correct technical term here, apologies)
that 'love you more' (sort of reported speech).
If you wanted to stretch things a bit further, cellophane suggests
cigarettes/tobacco which when combined with 'sheets' (of a particular sort of paper)
imply a somewhat different, and more chemical, release.
(Though I could just be toking this completely out of context).
Best, Knot.
Yes, I like the change. Sonics much improved.
But now, my-my! (L8,L9)
Would you consider something like
fingers creep to seek out a body's heat?
or even
fingers creeping, seek out a body's heat?
Just a thought.
poisonous words - yes, that I got, what confused me
was the ambiguity of 'hung around' (suspension versus waiting)
As to sheets, I think your 'that' is also ambiguous;
as in, 'which also', or
(not sure of the correct technical term here, apologies)
that 'love you more' (sort of reported speech).
If you wanted to stretch things a bit further, cellophane suggests
cigarettes/tobacco which when combined with 'sheets' (of a particular sort of paper)
imply a somewhat different, and more chemical, release.
(Though I could just be toking this completely out of context).
Best, Knot.