For the shore could not - Edit 1

[nibbed]

Hi 33


For the shore could not - edit 1                     -I'd use caps in the title if you are going with this title

We stepped into stolen lives,
our mistakes forgotten
Like the sleepyhead in the back seat:
dreams 
seeping in 
through the earphones -
or identities less consequential:
Curious,
tailless memories
dotting a landscape of tedium.                            - I like the honesty in this S

The day was no more a prison
Than the night
The dark as comforting a sanctuary 
as the crowd                                                      - this reader knows this, too
We brought wood to the fire
for warmth and smell.                                         - ( I was going to say smell falls flat, but I like the meter of this poem too much)
We brought stillness to the river
for the shore could not.                                      - I love the end, captures a grand visual to pull it all together and make
                                                                             a greater picture.

This is a lovely poem. I love the ending
but I wonder if it should also be the title?
Thank you for a wonderfully clean & gentle poem
about many truths in life. Reminds me of kind
gestures, friendship, and love.


-nibbed