First Edit: Death (in life)

[ritwiksadhu33]

Hi yimbus, I liked parts of this. Here are some thoughts.

An expansive fist
that keeps clenched "that keeps" could go
so tightly 'round the womb. 
Suffocatingly free
yet provocative
in all its tragic ways. Too many adjectives. "in all its" could go. Try something visual, maybe?

Glimpsing through the creases
that interlace its grip, 
between its glossy knuckles, intelacing its grip between glossy knuckles. Unless you are following a rhyme scheme that I failed to follow.
sight fails to see
as far as thee
who fled its yielding vice. Very convoluted.

Dream of things 
but fail your plea sounds iffy, grammatically. Not sure what fail your plea means.
for the endless eschewal "the" works when the phrase is a common characterization for a well known concept. That would be death here. Which totally messes up things for me. Are you asking the child to not die, although it may wish for death in its state of unbearable pain and struggle? This would be... a really contrived way to express that.
from its gruesome toil. 

Many perish inside its walls
'fore they traverse the webbing
that crosses between outside and in, 
overlapping with the heart. Really liked the wording and imagery here. Not too sure what it exactly means, but that doesn't always matter.

Yet if one were to live
transparent to the evil
inspired by necessary fate, 
maybe they shall see
how beautiful it is
in this receding space. Did not get this paragraph at all. Which is surprising since it doesn't use any words that are out of place. Just that the 2 halves of the sentence did not add up.

In summary, poetry is, despite all its variations and quirks, an expressive art, with constraints of brevity. If you have a complicated perspective, you have to analyze your ideas, think how to write out its elements so that someone other than a mind-reader can get what you are at. Especially if you are not writing poems that are impression or image based but actually have a story to tell. Try to think carefully about what you are trying to say and write it out as tersely and clearly as possible. Even if you loose a little of the beauty in the process, that's better than loosing the reader in the details.