01-31-2018, 05:53 AM
(01-31-2018, 05:35 AM)ellajam Wrote:Ok. I got rid of floss, I can agree that it may have been stupid.(01-31-2018, 05:19 AM)yimbus Wrote:urban dictionary(01-31-2018, 04:59 AM)Todd Wrote: I don't think I've ever seen any dictionary definition of floss used in that way. Could you please give your source--so we can learn. Google was no help to me. Even if floss did carry that meaning, the phrasing you use comes off awkwardly. I'm serious though about wanted to see the dictionary reference you're using (not sarcastic in the slightest).I will definitely change it. It's slang, and apparently not very common, at least with this demographic. I just liked it because it can carry a double-meaning of showing off, but maybe without backing it up which goes along with the meaning of my poem. I have seen it in no formal dictionary reference either so I can't provide you with one. I agree it probably wasn't the smartest choice of words, especially when I tend to use older words elsewhere...mixing dialect was a mistake on my part.
Quote:TOP DEFINITION
floss
To flaunt expensive merchadise such as Iced-out rollies, Jaguars on Triple Golds, Gem-encrusted Pimp goblets, Huge whops of dank hydro, etc.
You can tell that it's Flossin' Season everywhere! (Juvenile, "Flossin' Season")
by Pimp C June 24, 2003
I still can't make sense of that first strophe or even the line "floss my effervescence", the N would be saying whatever words they are speaking of (???) flaunt the N's effervescence (spirit?) which is gaudy and ostentatious? Trying to put that together with the 3 lines below it leads to lots of work for not much.
Changed to "parade an effervescence".
The overall intention of the poem was the subject, narrator, or just someone...has words they may say or think, that they do not support in action. They "consciously disregard" them.
These words supreme to me --> double meaning of either from God, or just ideas the person may think but not hold themselves to the same standard
parade an effervescence, --> they show vitality and enthusiasm
which of the spirit --> of their moral/spiritual character
trickles over
begone from reality. --> but they don't match those thoughts with real actions.
Repressed by pillars, --> pillars as a symbol for law, civilization, order. they may repressed the subject from their goal, or maybe they feel hopeless or comfort in the stableness
whilst annealed in hills --> strengthened by nature
that call the mockingjay, --> "mockingjay" could be a follower of the subject's thoughts/ pure intention, or follower of nature
to seek refuge
beneath its wings
of endless comforting. --> beckoning of nature to reach their goal
Ponderous deeds deny me, ---> struggles of person as they fail to reach their goal
from these knolls of earth
and strands of green; --> of being one with nature, or of their own nature
unfulfilled verses --> their words, thoughts, poems that are eloquent in concept
expose, --> yet fail to reach by action
these words supreme to me.

