For the shore could not - Edit 1

[Todd]

Hi, I haven't read any of the critiques so as to not prejudice my reading.

For the shore could not

We stepped into the stolen lives--evocative opening
Our mistakes forgotten--I don't think you need our we're already plural.
A clean slate--while this may be true, the wording has been expressed many times before. I think you could mix the phrasing up and salvage the idea but I wouldn't use "clean slate"
The somnolent youth in the back seat
Of the bus
In a land of dreams--not a fan of "In the land of". I think it might be stronger with just "dreams seeping/in through earphones (don't think you need the "the", though that's more of a style choice and purely debatable). 
seeping in 
through the earphones
Or identities less consequential than his:--Do you mean "our" here?
Curious
Tailless memories--I like the idea expressed here. It's an interesting way to show something as fragmented or incomplete.
Dotting a landscape of tedium--I tend to want to shy away from ___ of ____ constructions (like land of dreams and this landscape of tedium because to me and it could just be me they come across as artificial--doesn't mean I haven't used them but longwinded way to say maybe change of to in.

The day was no more a prison
Than the night--like that sequence
The dark no worse a sanctuary than the crowd--I think you may want to consider a consistent stucture between this line and the two above--either break than the crowd or express the earlier sentiment on one line as well.
We brought wood to the fire
For warmth and smell
We brought stillness to the river--love the phrasing of this idea.
For the shore could not.

I realize a lot of my comments are subjective choices. Hope some of them help.

Best,

Todd