Grass

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GRASS


Posterity makes believers of us all,
despite what's holy
or written on the wall;
and I wonder if my Self is gathered up
like syllables gathered in a stutter;
and my name remains

—For what?

in case I hear the worms applaud
or maggots mutter.




original

GRASS

Posterity makes believers of us all,
despite what's holy
or written on the wall;
and, I wonder if my Self is gathered up
like syllables gathered in a stutter;
and, my name remains

—For what?

in case I hear the worms applaud
or maggots mutter.

I thought this piece worked quite well. Good economy and creative choice of words. I Like how it ends.

in case I hear the worms applaud

or maggots mutter.

The last word concludes the work nicely. The only thing I was thinking is the following:

and I wonder if my Self is gathered up
like syllables gathered in a stutter;

If the repetition of the word gathered could be changed. Other than this I thought this work tactile and that it clearly evoked the imagery and emotion that the author intends. Good Work, keep writing.