These distant mountains speak

[ritwiksadhu33]

(I really don't have a title for this. Titles are not my strength.)

These distant mountains speak
in tones too low for the living to hear.
Winter snow,
nestled on peaks
and crags,
is a single syllable --
a soft vowel sound.


I cannot hear the language  
of these mountains,
though I listen,
my bare feet
on stony soil,
my lips wet
with glacial waters.


I sometimes hear the echo
of those words
in the footfalls
of a cottontail rabbit,
in the hissing of a
rattlesnake hiding
in the tall, summer grass.  

 

Being inclined to writing nature poetry myself, I loved this poem, especially the contrasting ending. The first paragraph, to me, seemed to flow better with some of the action words and articles removed, as commonly done in haikus. For instance:

"Distant mountains speak
In tones too low for the living to hear.
Winter snow, 
nestled on peaks
and crags:
A single syllable -
soft vowel sound"

The second stanza, with the sensual details of the mountainous environment, seems to have the most beautiful images, but overall, a few more details seem to be called for to flesh out the narrative: to let nature take centrestage, so to speak, and let the images, sounds and feels bring out the unheard language of the mountains.