Second Edit: Double-Murder and Suicide

[nibbed]

I
What is the easiest way to break one's neck?               -made me think of chickens and my gramma

Hands,                                                                         -hands brings one immediate thing to mind. I'm not sure a comma is needed, though.               

once belonging to a father, husband, son,                                                                                                                                               
given to fire, a failed cleanse.                                         -not sure what given to fire really means, but a failed cleanse can't be good.

Gym equipment,                                                           -I wonder if this is a name cleverly disguised
weights arranged to snap quickly,                                 - this is passionate, determined, planned, sad, but beautiful for some reason
nothing is truly instantaneous.                                      - I wonder if this is good or bad

II
Friday night,                                                                   -not sure about this comma, either
her blood settles into a towel,                                          -I don't see death, murder or suicide here, because of the towel. also saw "throws in the towel"
their fight transforms into a forgotten dream.                 - she may be kept from hurt or happiness
In his brain he hears his name chanted,                           -reminds me how I talk to myself
only to wake up alone, bathed in blackness,                    -bathed in blackness takes me many ways
angels still asleep with concussions,                                  -oh, wow...I wonder if that's what keeps them an angel?
the world spinning too fast.
He holds a bible and tries to remember
where he found it.                                                           -why/how did he forget? is he an angel, too?
Even his tears are unsure of whose cheeks they are wetting.              -our tears can affect some people we don't even know <3
                                                                                     
III
Sedation feels the most humane.                                     -I've thought this, too, but have managed to flee from temptation to be stoned.
He becomes a spectator for the rest:
feet sneak towards the door,
there will be no knock or happy goodnights,
arms, hands finish too fast.                                              - a comma might suffice here, after hands
Dazed, he manages to find a bible                                    -I'm trying to grasp the significance, though it certainly makes the title
and gives it to his son.                                                       less tragic, even surreal, or vapor-ish. Also seems to indicate martyrism, which we know
                                                                                         is very sad and really bad, should be avoided, but ultimately holds eternal reward.

                                                               


even with title aside, removed from my thoughts
I can only read dark sadness
when there should be
with a change of direction, joy
I feel the speaker is bound by something that makes him unhappy
and I think that is what makes it saddest.

sorry i couldn't offer much help
it seemed very metaphorical/bizarre,
but finely structured

I just wish the sun could shine on this poem
and make it happy.


nibbed