IISZ 2018 Challenge #2 - Death by Words
#18
(01-17-2018, 03:40 AM)Keith Wrote:  awesome, blind, bloody, bunny, burden, burning, cherish, crazy, cruel, cute, daredevil, darling, desire, destiny,devastate, disgrace, doom, drown, emptiness eternity, extinction, fool, forever, grief, guilt, harmony, heavenly, hotheaded, hugs, humiliation, icy, immortality, infinite, joy, karma, kiss, kitten, kooky, loathing, longing,millstone, miracle, misery, moon, oath, oblivion, paralysis, passion, puppy, pure, rose, sacred, sacrifice, savage, serendipity, shame, shattering, slaughter, slave, sweetheart, tears, torture, trauma, venomous, victim,weak, worry, wound, wrenching

Falling on the fell

The sky, so savage,
offered its bloody sacrifice,
the harmony viewed by planets.

I the cruel crowd
blind to the gladiators fall,
a slave longing for such sight

forever placed beside this burden.
A millstone on the miracle,
an infinite hillside on eternity.

I reach along this pure expanse,
weak beneath my heavy feet,
the slaughter drips, complete.
hi keith! this is interesting to interpret and i probably didn´t get your intended meaning (but as people keep telling me this is not the most important thing).
boxed to not spoil other´s interpretations:
mainly makes me think of someone on a mountain hike, weary but amazed.
 took "slaughter" as "sweat" in that view and "complete" has a very satisfying feel that way.
i couldn´t connect the gladiators´ fall to anything specific in the poem, but definitely like the insight about crowds and gladiators.
 "millstone on the miracle" made me think about how mountains don´t vanish through erosion, just turn to hillsides.

alternatively it could be more dramatic, "fell", that old norse word made me associate those mountains with gods or maybe a volcano eruption, which in a way brings harmony to the planet´s pressured insides. the sky is definitely savage then..
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RE: IISZ 2018 Challenge #2 - Death by Words - by vagabond - 01-17-2018, 09:12 AM



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