just to be sure you understand; this is something i see as being bad poetry, [as in it's not good or mediocre poetry]we are allowed to say it's bad if we justify it. here's my justification:
to start with it reads not as a poem, but as a story, i see some of the poetic devices yet on reading the piece it's not coming off as anything more than poetry from a beginner. while it may be good rap as the spoken word, it doesn't have enough cadence or rhythm to convert me. the story feels very very drawn out and a little implausible. you leave little to the readers imagination. it does in places have a rap feel to it but as a poem it needs a lot more from a lot less.
to start with it reads not as a poem, but as a story, i see some of the poetic devices yet on reading the piece it's not coming off as anything more than poetry from a beginner. while it may be good rap as the spoken word, it doesn't have enough cadence or rhythm to convert me. the story feels very very drawn out and a little implausible. you leave little to the readers imagination. it does in places have a rap feel to it but as a poem it needs a lot more from a lot less.
(01-12-2018, 04:04 PM)ADUnser Wrote: Bowling Green's Underbelly
The odor of burning marijuana reeks from a room at the Days Inn
Two cops were on the scene, pure coincidence
They knock on the door,
"Who is it?"
"It's the Bowling Green Police on a routine visit"
No reply, only a quiet "hush"
Followed by the sound of a toilet flush
Now the door opens,
It ain't hard to tell what they been smoking,
But that ain't all, something's odd
A suspicious bag gave em probable cause
The cops bust in, what'ya know?
Looked under the bed and found a bag of coke
Now in the nightstand, they found a stash of heroin
I ain't spitting fiction, Read this in the Daily News
Only last weekend only last weekend what?
I bet you think it's an isolated incident,
But pay attention and the issue's evident
Underneath the guise of regularity,
Bowling Green has a side that I find scary
Every day more drugs pass through
It's like an epidemic cliche
Heroin is spreading like the common flu
I know this for a fact, an empty phrase
Just six years ago I lived with my mom, no need for [just]
and she was addicted to crack
Yet there's rarely an arrest
Man, are the cops taking a rest?
Off the top of my head redundant
There were about 8 bank robberies last year
All of em unsolved, do ya'll even want my respect?
This town may not have a ghetto
But drugs and violence are here, it shows
Everybody can keep living blind,
Act like your problems aren't mine,
But this has gone on too long and it's just a matter of time
Before more of em wise up and realize
Bowling Green, Ky is a low life's paradise