01-11-2018, 01:18 PM
Hey vagabond,
I think this is a improvement over the last version. You're definitely going in the right direction. For the ending, what if you changed it from a question, and said something about how the connection has been made? May be you could even play around with the imagery of the connection being like a light-bulb moment for the speaker. Just a thought.
Cheers,
Richard
I think this is a improvement over the last version. You're definitely going in the right direction. For the ending, what if you changed it from a question, and said something about how the connection has been made? May be you could even play around with the imagery of the connection being like a light-bulb moment for the speaker. Just a thought.
Cheers,
Richard
Time is the best editor.