These distant mountains speak

[Kaily Bear]

(I really don't have a title for this. Titles are not my strength.)

I'm a novice but i find my titles just come to me... I read my poem out and find what part or parts i connect with, whatever jumps out is what i title it.

These distant mountains speak
in tones too low for the living to hear.
Winter snow,
nestled on peaks
and crags,
is a single syllable --
a soft vowel sound.

I cannot hear the language

this line is very awkward... and doesn't make sense really. which is why it is awkward. language is something you can hear, but not necessarily understand. if you cannot hear something, why do you think it is a language? maybe work this line a bit, mess around with it.

you have a very soft sound drifting over from line before, a soft vowel sound, maybe work on softness. like a whisper. "I hear the whisper so soft a word* [b]i cannot hear." [/b]

*(or song or lullaby or even story, or poem, language sounds awkward in this context in general... has too much meaning and deeper thought to it. concentrate on the sounds what it sounds like) Either that or work on not understanding the language heard. "I hear the song of a lullaby I used to know"   

of these mountains,
though I listen,
my bare feet
on stony soil,
my lips wet
with glacial waters.


I sometimes hear the echo
of those words
in the footfalls
of a cottontail rabbit,
in the hissing of a
rattlesnake hiding
in the tall, summer grass.