12-28-2017, 02:27 PM
I'm intrigued by the direction of this poem but perhaps you could expand on it a little. As of right now I'm not really sure what you're trying to say. I'm sure you are using ice cream as a metaphor for something significant to you, but I need more as a reader to understand what that is. Overall though I think you have a good starting point here and with some more thought you could create a really unique poem.