Edit 5: Homecoming

[Richard]

Hey alexorande,
I like some of the imagery you use throughout the poem. I do have some suggestions though:

The Foreign Prince -I agree with what you said about the title below. I get what you're going for here, but the prince imagery seems to never be referenced outside of the title, May be something that relates to ripening like "Maturity," or something similar? There seems to be a lot of time references, so may be something connected that? Just some thoughts.
 
The day is ripe as mangoes -I like the mango image and your description for it. I just wonder if the simile with day is necessary? I'll explain more below.
drooping from their straining stems 
as juicy treats to slice or peel 
that made for sweetly sticky chins. 
 
Bone-white pits with yellow wisps 
were left in mud that horse hooves kissed. -I would combine the first two lines of this stanza with the previous four. I don't need see the need to separate them.
The boy has returned and country hills  -I would start the poem with these three lines. To me, the boy seems like he should be more the focal point than the mangoes. Plus, you can use the mango imagery to describe them as the boy passes. Rather than making the direct comparison of the mangoes and time, it could be more implied. I hope that makes sense. 
of grazing cattle seem untouched 
as hourglass sand. 
 
Chewing strips of the sugar cane 
his Abuelito hewn behind the bungalow,  
it tastes sweeter than remembered, while 
smiles that tastes and vistas wrinkled 
local faces with, remain like monoliths. -Why are they like monoliths? I feel like this image needs to be explored more.
 
They celebrate tonight, with seafood 
caught that morning, a roasted pig, 
and his Tia Yenia's ojaldas; 
                        when sweet and savory 
is a year-round yield, it's no wonder why 
his great-grandparents can move their feet 
and hips to the blaring salsa music 
of his homecoming, as if the day  
were always ripe. -I quite like this stanza. I feel like it captures what you were going for here when dealing with the nature of time. The repetition of the word "ripe" bothers me though. I wonder if there is a different word you could use here or in the mango stanza?




I'd love to hear some suggestions in ways to maybe trim and condense the piece, thanks for the read. I'm also kind of iffy on the title so any suggestions on that end would be great too.

Overall, I think you have a nice first draft here, and I look forward to seeing where you take it from here.

Cheers,
Richard