You're losing you, are you gone.

[QDeathstar]

Rolf, people are missing the message because the author had made poor choices in grammar, word choice, use of abstractions, and cliche. It is not the reader who is responsible for deciphering the authors intent, it is the author who is responsible for making the poem matter. Here, the author did a poor job and the readers have been kind enough to let the author know.


If I were the author I would rewrite this, restricting myself to five lines. Making sure each one matters to the reader, not to the author. Who cares about the author.