12-18-2017, 11:41 AM
(12-10-2017, 09:45 AM)shemthepenman Wrote:Although I’m DustWe held hands and I kissed her
for a second time, untouched.
I scribbled a sad word onto the side of her face
which she mistook for a compliment.
And then and there,
outside of her,
outside of o-me-o-my,
I took a knife to love’s system of signs.
—Help me cut through this thing,
this simple little thing.
She couldn’t do it;
but my, she sure was pretty.
Cleaner. On my first few reads, I felt like arguing about certain points of the piece, such as the rather uncomfortable ending, but found the exercise to be unnecessary. I do miss the cymbal crash at the end, though -- it enforces the rather playful nature of the whole thing.