Mood - Edit 2

[Richard]

Hey Duke,
I like some of your imagery in this piece. However, I do have some thoughts:

Mood -I would suggest coming up with a different title. The word "Mood" is in the poem three times, so I don't think it needs the extra emphasis of being the title as well.


When that Mood manifests, -It caught my eye that "Mood" was capitalized. However, after reading the poem a few times, I'm sort of at a loss as to why you did that. The word is repeated three times in the poem, so I don't think it needs to be capitalized.
    every thing attests
to shocking beauty of
    all that's in sight. -The last two lines in this stanza are a bit a vague. I know you give a specific image in the next stanza. I just wonder if there is a way to be more specific here. May be think about merging these two stanzas? I don't know how that would influence your meter and rhyme.

Dead leaves go painterly
    in drifts of color we
can't help but rhapsodize -I like the first three lines of this stanza. I usually don't like rhymes, but I appreciated that rhyme of "painterly" and "we". As well, the image of the dead leaves works well for what you're trying to communicate with this poem.
    with all our might. -I feel like this line could be cut because it doesn't add much.

Is it this Mood that makes
    dead things a scene that wakes -I know you didn't want to say "dead leaves" again, but I would suggest using a different word than "things".
feelings of majesty,
    awe and delight? -I would suggest picking one of these feelings and exploring it more. It seems to me like you're only scratching the surface here.

Or does that fickle Mood
    form in our solitude
born out of happenstance
    when the scene's right? -I like that you end on a question. It's worth thinking about, and gives the poem an effective ending.

I hope I wasn't too critical here. I think you have a good first draft, and I look forward to seeing where you take this from here.

Cheers,
Richard