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Stardust
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12-14-2017, 01:02 PM
This was very nice. One thing that could be changed are the lines "we pray to be enlightenment" maybe think of some things that enlightenment is to you. Say (as example) enlightenment is like "a journey, a gift, or light" you could say "we pray to be the light" to make the line less obvious.
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RE: Stardust - by mia500 - 12-14-2017, 01:02 PM
RE: Stardust - by Youi - 12-17-2017, 12:56 PM
RE: Stardust - by ellajam - 12-17-2017, 05:19 PM
RE: Stardust - by nibbed - 12-18-2017, 01:01 AM
RE: Stardust - by Youi - 12-18-2017, 06:21 AM
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