Letting Go of Clarity

[Linda]

New edit:...........Your edit is good you have a lot to work with here, I will play with this a bit

You should have been more clear - ......................You should have been clear,
clear like the air you breathe.................................clear as the air you breathe
in the north, in the forests, in the mountains............in the north, in forests and the mountains
of your town.                                                        of your town.

I longed for dependability 
like the foaming tides
never ceasing to crash and recede, ...........I would end the stanza here
but you pulled back and pushed out.

Your sweet sweat dripped down
like the early morning dew ................seems over used, I would think on another simile 
that collects on petals and
slowly rolls down. 

But, on the other hand, .................Omit but
I saw through you, 
like the water in Antarctica, .......................Antarctica, space ......use one or the other
so clear you feel like you are in space. 
Battling ignorance with honesty,   ....................this line is not making sense to me
I couldn't tell up from down.

Grounded now, I drill a hole..........I like this line
deep in the ice.
It's so cold your insides will freeze, ..........but this line seems to take me out of the thought, maybe omit it from the S 
and I let you down......................Grounded now I drill a hole in the ice and let you down, I'm falling too,
I am falling, too,                          then floating free.
then floating, free..........Just a few thoughts to take or leave.     Best, Linda

Old Version:
You should have been more clear
Clear like the water in Antarctica
Water so clear you feel like you are in space
Floating, being

You should have been more clear
Clear like the air you breath
in the north, in the forests, in the mountains
of your town

You should have been more clear
Clear as the dependable tidal waves
Never ceasing to crash and recede 
Pulling back, pushing out

You should have been more clear
Clear like the sweet morning dew
Collecting on petals and
dripping down slowly

But, 
on the other hand, 
I can see through you.
Battles of ignorance or honesty 
you have won
this nonsensical race 
But you were the only one running, anyway

Now i drill a hole
deep in the ice
and let you down.
And i am falling, too
floating, free

Hi flagthrower, welcome to the site!

Some things I like here.

I think you have a nice concept. However, I think you are using repetition as a sort of scaffold to prop the piece up. It got you to this point and that's good but it now is more of distraction than a help. I would look to pull out most of the repetitive elements and get to the core of what you're trying to say. I think you would wind up with a much stronger piece.

You should have been more clear
Clear like the water in Antarctica--This is fine the first time you use it.
Water so clear you feel like you are in space--Water so clear is that sort of repetition you should cut. You could choose to introduce a different element entirely. You have Antarctica, why not play with that (you could introduce cold which works with both Antarctica and space. You could alter the water by making it sluggish approaching ice. You have options). The water so clear part is just uninteresting.
Floating, being

You should have been more clear
Clear like the air you breath--Now just lead into the idea no "Clear like anymore" typo: breathe
in the north, in the forests, in the mountains--lots of words, not a lot of impact. This feels bolted on.
of your town

You should have been more clear
Clear as the dependable tidal waves--While I get predictable from this image, I don't necessarily get clear from it.
Never ceasing to crash and recede 
Pulling back, pushing out

You should have been more clear
Clear like the sweet morning dew
Collecting on petals and
dripping down slowly

But,--This is not strong enough to hold the line. 
on the other hand, 
I can see through you.--You do need a turn, but this entire opening is a bit clunky. Maybe rephrase: 
but you are clear/as I can see through you (or something like that).
Battles of ignorance or honesty 
you have won
this nonsensical race--This is more abstract. You need to balance the earlier imagery with a clean payoff image or you could be accused of not being clear--and that would be ironic. Something more concrete here.
But you were the only one running, anyway

Now i drill a hole
deep in the ice
and let you down.
And i am falling, too
floating, free--I think I see where you are going but it all feels a bit disconnected.

I hope some of that helps.

Best,

Todd