Heavenly Refinement

[nibbed]

thank you vagabond, knot, and mopkins
for your critique and help in shaping up
my poem.



Heavenly Refinement
(slight revision)

I

The sky split that day
when He reached down
and gently took her up.

All that was left
was stiff and lanky, an empty shell
for others to manage.

My mind went adriftin',
even though I knew
she's now better-than-ever:

an Irish girl, old from the smoke
with greyish green, sea-glass eyes,
muted and smooth,

now she's twinklin' her shiniest
burst o' life
through peridot marbles;

none of us can see them, not here in this arena
where we start out strong and end up weak,
always sweaty-wrestlin' Light vs. dark.

Her tangled tiara
mobbed in thick grey fuzz hasn't room
for even a memory in that residence of Light,
where everything stays fresh
and crowns earned will be happily thrown:

no sin, rust, or moths can gobble anything up;
there's no fear, no trippin' on rugs, no broken hips,

today she's springin' a jig, crystal River Dancin', bouncin'
curly locks, whose energies gleam brighter than the smiles
of hungry villagers watchin' wagons heap in golden wheat.

Her wrinkles melted away, warm honey, boastin'
cheek's freckles (she once hated)
now win jubilant pageants
against glitterin' shimmers on angels' faces.


II


I got reeled in last night with a special gaff.
Pulled from my wanderin' afar on a Melville raft:
"Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian".
It made me laugh, then reminded me, I am neither.

I wonder sometimes
when God reaches down
His Shepherd's stick,

does His sceptre sparkle as snow,
gently shooting warm points of Light
that it might gently nudge us in love?

My Heavenly Father, He fluffed and whitened
all my pillows last night, tucked me in,
whispered thunders through a young preacher
hidden in reserves, unswayed by man's religiosity:

"And ye shall seek me,
and find me, when ye shall search for me
with all your heart."




Inspired by God's Word
Jeremiah 29 KJV







Original


I

The sky split that day
when He reached down
and gently took her up.

All that was left
was stiff and lanky, an empty shell
for others to manage.

My mind went adriftin',
even though I knew
she's now better-than-ever:

an Irish girl, old from the smoke
with grayish, green, sea-glass eyes,
muted and smooth,

now she's twinklin' her shiniest
burst o' life, peridot marbles;

none of us can see them, not here in this arena
where we start out strong and end up weak,
always sweaty-wrestlin' Light vs. dark.

Her tangled tiara of thick grey fuzz hasn't room
for even a memory in that residence of Light,
where everything stays fresh
and crowns earned will be happily thrown:

no sin, rust, or moths can gobble anything up;
there's no fear, no trippin' on rugs, no broken hips,

today she's springin' a jig, crystal River Dancin', bouncin'
curly locks whose energies gleam brighter
than the smiles of hungry villagers watchin'
wagons heap in golden wheat.

Her wrinkles melted away, warm honey, boastin'
cheek's freckles, she once hated,
now win grandest pageants
against the glitterin' shimmers of angels' faces.


II


I got reeled in last night with a special gaffe.
Pulled from my wanderin' afar on a Melville raft,
"Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian".
It made me laugh, then reminded me, I am neither.

I wonder sometimes
when God reaches down
His Shepherd's stick,

what does His staff look like to Him?
Does it sparkle like snow,
gently shoot warm points of Light
that it might gently nudge us in love?

My Heavenly Father, He fluffed
all my pillows last night, tucked me in,
whispered thunders through a young preacher
hidden in reserves, unswayed by man's religiosity:

"And ye shall seek me,
and find me, when ye shall search for me
with all your heart."




Inspired by God's Word
Jeremiah 29 KJV





(original)

I

The sky split that day
when He reached down
and gently took her up.

All that was left
was stiff and lanky, an empty shell
for others to manage.

My mind went adriftin',
even though I knew
she's now better-than-ever:

an Irish girl, old from the smoke
with grayish, green, sea-glass eyes,
muted and smooth,

now she's twinklin' her shiniest
burst o' life, peridot marbles;

none of us can see them, not here in this arena
where we start out strong and end up weak,
always sweaty-wrestlin' Light vs. dark.

Her tangled tiara of thick grey fuzz hasn't room
for even a memory in that residence of Light,
where everything stays fresh
and crowns earned will be happily thrown:

no sin, rust, or moths can gobble anything up;
there's no fear, no trippin' on rugs, no broken hips,

today she's springin' a jig, crystal River Dancin', bouncin'
curly locks whose energies gleam brighter
than the smiles of hungry villagers watchin'
wagons heap in golden wheat.

Her wrinkles melted away, warm honey, boastin'
cheek's freckles, she once hated,
now win grandest pageants
against the glitterin' shimmers of angels' faces.


II


I got reeled in last night with a special gaffe.
Pulled from my wanderin' afar on a Melville raft,
"Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian".
It made me laugh, then reminded me, I am neither.

I wonder sometimes
when God reaches down
His Shepherd's stick,

what does His staff look like to Him?
Does it sparkle like snow,
gently shoot warm points of Light
that it might gently nudge us in love?

My Heavenly Father, He fluffed
all my pillows last night, tucked me in,
whispered thunders through a young preacher
hidden in reserves, unswayed by man's religiosity:

"And ye shall seek me,
and find me, when ye shall search for me
with all your heart."




Inspired by God's Word
Jeremiah 29 KJV