12-12-2017, 09:21 AM
Hi tigerthelion
This poem was one of those reads where I feel like a cat whose owner loves to pet him the wrong way just so the cat gets riled and claws at her, so I guess I should say it was very good?
Put Down the Gun
Can you picture Christ -I like how this poem starts out with a question.
in a Mexican standoff? (My answer: not Christ, He's God, He'd distract them with fiestas of lovely music
and long, colourful, ribboned skirts. Folks in prayer along with jobs to build a wall, because
proud, that is how He is, ultimately Jesus Christ is Lord and giver of all good things.)
proud,
proud, -these three prouds are more a spirit of ill-rebuke that hinders only the sender
in triangulated crossfire
or triune, stubborn fear? -this made me want to say, "Ask George Washington about his experiences"
Are you so cold -this could mean bitterness or a climate, regardless, it offers frustration of failed manipulation
you would not also give up your cloak
of right? -I wondered at first why the speaker uses "you" several times.
It seems more a tricky plea of letting down a gate, so maybe change of pronoun
You have become pagan might fare more effective?
in your celebrations; -I have been thinking a lot about Joseph of the OT, this too, reminded me-
a hoarder of ghosts I wondered how he faced and lived in Egypt with such contrasts of faith all around him.
crusading for heavier loin cloths
and scratching your balls all day. -as if self protection lacks femininity? or perhaps it just refers to a Tomboy
What's the book on misdirection? -This made me think of a broken compass, someone lost at sea, with little hope
of finding harbor without prayer.
Can you even read
with your hands full of hate
and eyes of lead? -this is a wonderful metaphor of sleepiness and makes me want to eat cilantro.
I like how the poem is full of questions and the reader is forced to respond at least in thought. It seems there is a grand dislike of whatever position, person, or group the poem is intended to impress. It is well written, neat, and the form and meter are perfect, but I'm not sure it convinces disarmament.
-nibbed
This poem was one of those reads where I feel like a cat whose owner loves to pet him the wrong way just so the cat gets riled and claws at her, so I guess I should say it was very good?
Put Down the Gun
Can you picture Christ -I like how this poem starts out with a question.
in a Mexican standoff? (My answer: not Christ, He's God, He'd distract them with fiestas of lovely music
and long, colourful, ribboned skirts. Folks in prayer along with jobs to build a wall, because
proud, that is how He is, ultimately Jesus Christ is Lord and giver of all good things.)
proud,
proud, -these three prouds are more a spirit of ill-rebuke that hinders only the sender
in triangulated crossfire
or triune, stubborn fear? -this made me want to say, "Ask George Washington about his experiences"
Are you so cold -this could mean bitterness or a climate, regardless, it offers frustration of failed manipulation
you would not also give up your cloak
of right? -I wondered at first why the speaker uses "you" several times.
It seems more a tricky plea of letting down a gate, so maybe change of pronoun
You have become pagan might fare more effective?
in your celebrations; -I have been thinking a lot about Joseph of the OT, this too, reminded me-
a hoarder of ghosts I wondered how he faced and lived in Egypt with such contrasts of faith all around him.
crusading for heavier loin cloths
and scratching your balls all day. -as if self protection lacks femininity? or perhaps it just refers to a Tomboy
What's the book on misdirection? -This made me think of a broken compass, someone lost at sea, with little hope
of finding harbor without prayer.
Can you even read
with your hands full of hate
and eyes of lead? -this is a wonderful metaphor of sleepiness and makes me want to eat cilantro.
I like how the poem is full of questions and the reader is forced to respond at least in thought. It seems there is a grand dislike of whatever position, person, or group the poem is intended to impress. It is well written, neat, and the form and meter are perfect, but I'm not sure it convinces disarmament.
-nibbed
there's always a better reason to love