12-10-2017, 07:48 PM
(11-24-2017, 04:12 AM)Keith Wrote: Absorbed by sharp morning rain,I like how you’ve rhymed every line, although “name” doesn’t quite fit in.
stood layered on a rug's clear stain,
silent shops pipe dead refrains,
I elevate and screech my name.
Perhaps “Jane”” (a specific name) instead of “my name”?
I don’t know if that helped.
I don’t understand the title either


