Letting Go of Clarity

[Keith]

You should have been more clear
Clear like the water in Antarctica
Water so clear you feel like you are in space I'm not really feeling this but could just be me
Floating, being needs a fullstop

three clear and two water is not helping the opening stanza to have taht grab effect.

You should have been more clear
Clear like the air you breath
in the north, in the forests, in the mountains
of your town Really like this stanza I would open with this

You should have been more clear
Clear as the dependable tidal waves maybe just tides rather than tidal waves
Never ceasing to crash and recede 
Pulling back, pushing out full stop

You should have been more clear
Clear like the sweet morning dew
Collecting on petals and
dripping down slowly Nice image again but they are all getting lost in the repeat and the 'clear like' perhaps you could condense three of the images into one stanza and drop the repeat and then carry on from here.

But, 
on the other hand, 
I can see through you.
Battles of ignorance or honesty this 'or' makes me think you dont know, if this is to be the slam dunk then it needs to be convincing and clear
you have won
this nonsensical race 
But you were the only one running, anyway no full stop and why capitalise the line ?

Now i drill a hole
deep in the ice
and let you down. I like the shift into cold like being ignored
And i am falling, too
floating, free I dont really get this are you falling or floating?

Hi Flagthrower welcome to the site
I like how you have structured the poem, ie. you should have been clearer but actually I can see through you, and you dont really matter to me. you treat us to some very nice images on the way down but it does feel a little over played and im not sure the repeat is helping that much. I have put some comments above, hope they make sense Keith.